anu bang nangyayari? bakit suddenly napakahirap mong pakitunguhan… naguguluhan ako, hindi ko alam gagawin ko… nalilito… paano ba kita dapat pakitunguhan… everytime na sinasabi mong hindi mo na kaya, im always trying hard to cheer yoou up, tapos ill try to change the topic to keep the conversation going to change whats on your mind pero ngayon your just too hard. i dont know how to get in, to know what you are thinking, is this how its supposed to be? long distance relationship? im trying to survive i want to keep this but please try to not make it hard… alam ko there are so many things na paikot ikot dyan sa utak mo.. alam ko naguguluhan ka din, litong lito pero please tell me if its our relationship thats giving you a hard time… anu bang dapat kong gawin…

dear faye,

magiisang linggo na nung umalis ka… mahirap… araw araw pagkagising ko, nakatingin ako sa phone baka may text ka, gaya ng dati, araw araw pagkagising ko, nagkukuwenta ako, kung anung oras na sayo, mahirap… pero araw araw din mas tumitindi yung nararamdaman ko para sayo… mas lalo akong lumalakas, knowing na onti nalang babalik kana, onti nalang makakasama na ulit kita…

sana matapos na to… samna magkasama na tayo… imiss you..

japhet

why do i stay this way… i’m going back to this one place that i left… my keep. where i was strong once, invulnerable, unbreakable, my happiness, my life. why did i left? leaving means dying, but i have to live again, to another life that i just cant accept. i want to be back, to my salvation, to my place of happiness, to the one i love, i truly love, to this person, my person, i want to get her back… but i just cant. i broke her heart. i presented myself to death. make me happy once more, make you happy even better, make me love you again… one chance. but the keep is closed, the doors are closing, i was left outside never to come back never to return. i was exiled. but please let me in, let me come back in. i need you. i need this settled place, my place of peace, happiness, anger, jealousy, love and love once more, to your side, to where your heart lay, to where ill hold your hand, to wherever through whatever… once more my love… knock knock.. i miss you

nahihirapan ako, naiinis, nalilito… gulong gulo

hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganto yung pakiramdam

bakit di ko sya malimutan?

hindi ko maiwan?

hindi makatanggi?

hindi mapakawalan?

hindi mawala?

bakit ako minumulto ng mga alaala niya?

nahihirapan ako…

bakit di sya mawala sa puso ko.

anu bang nangyayari sakin, bakit ganto?

bakit ako nagpapanggap

bakit ko hinahayaang ganito…

bakit mahal ko pa sya?

bakit ko pinahihirapan ang sarili ko ng ganito?

ganto ba yung gusto ko…

never ending na torture…

bakit ko pa sya tinetxt…

bakit isang kalibit lang niya bumibigay ako

kahit ilang beses ko ng sinabing magtitiis ako.

bakit ako ganto

bakit sya parin laman ng puso ko…

mananatili nalng ba kong ganto?

hindi ko maiwan ang alaala mo…

hanggang ngayon ikaw parin mahal ko.